Networking - this term can get a bad rap sometimes. It can feel icky when done in an unauthentic way.

But what does it mean to network in a meaningful way?

Well, first it’s about being useful and provide value to others.

It’s about caring for others.

Being helpful and building strong relationships.

This has been a strong suit of mine. Something that has come quite naturally in life.

Let’s break down how this came to be and where it led me over the years.

It first started by being curious — to learn new skills and applying them in ways that help serve those around me for no other reason than for it’s own sake.

Being useful and helping others achieve their goals has helped my life in profound ways. It built rapport and trust in others. I want to see others succeed. This has been felt by many around me.

People come to me for help, because they trust I can get them the results they are looking for. As my network of people grows it provides greater depth in how I’m able to help others.

I learn where other’s strengths lie and have a knack for tapping into this pool of resources when needed. As people reach out for help - often it’s because they feel like I am able to personally help in solving whatever problem they are facing.

One of my favorite things is to connect people with others who have the skills to accomplish their goals. I am aware of my own strengths and weaknesses. And I am humble enough to know when someone better is able to solve a problem. While I love solving problems myself, I know plenty of other people who are more skilled and dedicated their lives to specific skills.

My role is best suited as being the connector.

I view networking as relationship building. I love connecting others. When someone comes to me with a problem, I have an innate ability to know who the right person is for the job. Beyond the skills, will the person have the ability to follow through? Will their personalities mesh well together? This is the bigger question.

When someone comes to mind, I am able to let the person know I am not the right one for the job, but know who is.

I like have solutions.

Don’t leave people hanging. Someone comes to me because they trust me. I go to someone else because I trust them. When I connect the two together, and it works out well, I just strengthened three relationships.

  • The one between me and the person with the problem to solve.
  • The one between me and who has the ability to solve the problem because I just provided them work.
  • And the facilitation of a new relationship between the two people who were destined to meet.

This in turn makes the person who came to me originally more likely to lean on me when they have future problems to solve.

The person who solved the problem is more likely to help me in the future when it’s needed.

And often, the two of them continue to collaborate in the future.

This trifecta gives me the motivation to keep building stronger relationships with new people because it deepens the rolodex I am able to pull from in the future. It positions me to be a conduit for bigger and better project to get completed.

It also helps me refine my skills at picking up on personality traits of others.

There are plenty of people out there who are masters at their craft. Some are easy to work with. Others are a total pain. Knowing the personality of a person helps determine who to call in a given situation.

Not everyone is going to jive together and that’s ok.

Some people can handle an asshole if they know that person will deliver. But others are more sensitive and need someone who can communicate and interact with a softer disposition.

Sometimes it’s better to work with someone who isn’t the best of the best if they are easier to work with. People are forgiving and will be ok with a lesser end product if the person providing the service makes their life easier.

Somehow over the years I’ve learned to adapt to people I interact with. Because of my wide-ranging skillset I have learned a working knowledge of many disciplines. I may not be the best, but I can speak the language. And have enough experience to possess a decent understanding of what I am asking of someone else.

This disarms a lot of conflict. I have been on show sites many times where the crew is disgruntled because they are being asked to accomplish ridiculous tasks by people who don’t have a clue what they are asking. This makes the crew pissed and not want to do their best work.

But I have found I can show compassion, because I’ve been in their shoes before. Through this people are more willing to make it happen. They feel seen and know someone else understands their pain.

Empathy goes a long way in achieving goals through collaboration.

It’s easy to assume things are easy and not understand why someone is bitching when you haven’t experienced it yourself.

Getting in the trenches with another, to learn what they have to deal with, provides invaluable insight; further developing you own skills and ability to lead others.

Even if someone hasn’t worked by your side, the way you approach them shifts and they can sense this. It brings a new respect for each other and clears a path of collaboration to accomplish goals.

And you never know where this will lead.

I’ve built up skills that have served me well long afterwards that I did not expect. They opened doors I couldn’t have imagined later in life.

People calling because they remembered me from a gig years ago. And just like I enjoy making connections between two people, I have sat in both of the other seats in that trifecta. A number of people I work with now have either been because someone I know recommended someone who can solve my problem, or I was the solution.

It all comes around and goes around. Keeping the channel open is the key.

We are all in this thing together.

All working towards progressing consciousness and evolving our species.

People inherently want to do good work and be the best version of themselves at their core.

But we all have shadow aspects that cloud our perceptions and influence our actions.

In the end, we want to do a good job. To see this in others helps bring that light out, reinforcing the unique gifts we all have to offer the world.

By being aware of other people’s gifts, and also their own shadows, we help each other become better versions of ourselves.

Building trust requires refining discernment. Whether consciously or not, our character traits have magnetism to them. To know who will jive with who requires awareness and good judgement of the traits of others, and who will be attracted to those traits.

When connecting people well, you not only provide value to help solve problems — you also offer gratitude to each other by acknowledging and giving a nod to the gifts others provide.

This approach to life teaches three attributes Joe Polish mention’s in his book What’s In It For Them?

Be useful, valuable, and grateful.

We are being useful by helping solve problems for others.

In doing so, we provide value to their lives.

And with a positive impact, we offer gratitude that ripples out in the fabric of existence in ways we will never fully comprehend.

Build those connections and see their impact on the world around you.

With gratitude,

-Andrew Lane

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